But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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