Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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