We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
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Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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