So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
