Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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