its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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