i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
