To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
