Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
