Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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