Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i will never coherently bang her
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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