Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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