I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
