so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Randomize