She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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