biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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