would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He has the fingertips of a God
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