Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
