I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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