Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
