I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
