Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
