On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
