i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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