3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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