Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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