and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
