Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
