omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
