I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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