It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
