It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
