he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
