You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
