im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
