Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
3 2 1 whiskey
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
pray to the hookup gods
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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