Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
