So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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