dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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