My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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