i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
