hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize