My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
