Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
