No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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