i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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