Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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