Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
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I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
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Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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