it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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