Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize