All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
