come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
