Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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