Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
