Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
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I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
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I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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